by Mary Strope

Crafts Couples: Balancing Life and Business

In our industry, it’s very common for couples to work together and live together 24-7. Some of the same traits that make a good marriage also define a good working relationship. We’ll take a closer look at four working couples to find out how they blend business and their personal lives.

Glass by Kerry and Dan Cleaver. Married for 22 years, the couple has worked together for three years.

When Kerry Cleaver’s husband, Dan, learned he would be transferred to another city for the management job he had held for 16 years, the couple decided it was time for Dan to quit his day job and join his wife in her art glass business. The Cleavers live in New Port Richey, Fla., and have three teenage children. “At first, we were concerned whether we’d be comfortable spending every waking minute together,” says Kerry, who creates fused glass water fountains and wind chimes. They talked it over and came up with a plan. They decided that if one needed some time alone, they should just leave, and the other person would not be upset by it.

But it hasn’t quite worked out that way. Having worked together for three years now, they’ve never had to use that plan. “We really don’t fight,” says Kerry. “We agree to disagree, and we laugh a lot.” Married 22 years, the Cleavers sell their glass art at five wholesale shows and 30 fine art and craft fairs a year.

The Cleavers say the secret to their success, so far, is the clear division of labor. Kerry is the artist and makes all the creative decisions. Dan handles the business end including packing, shipping and accounts receivable. Kerry orders all the glass making supplies and Dan orders all the shipping supplies. Sometimes Dan will assist with stringing glass for the chimes and helps Kerry load the kiln.
Gordon Rick Bruno is a photographer specializing in still life photographs, both color and black and white. Lenny Lyons is a photographer, painter and 3-D mixed media artist. Married 39 years, he is a traditionalist and she is, according to Bruno, a visionary. They sell their art at 10 fairs and festivals a year, each taking their own booth. Their studio is located on eight acres of land north of Atlanta, Ga. Their adult son, Chris, is also a photographer. Gordon and Lenny have found a way to balance work and family life by managing their art businesses separately. Creative decisions are made independently, although they share a studio and much of the equipment. During busy times, they assist each other with framing.

Mamie Joe Rayburn is a printmaker, and her husband, Dale, is a printmaker and painter. Dale and Mamie met in college and have been married for 30 years. They live in Roswell, Ga., and have two grown children. The Rayburns have found that since they have different artistic styles — her style is abstract and his style is figurative — they also like to keep things separate. Each has their own brushes, tools and paint. They have individual workspaces, but share a viewing gallery where they hang their work for critiquing. They also share a printing press and matting and framing equipment. They sell their work at 12 to15 outdoor festivals and fairs, including the Ann Arbor Street Art Fair.

Dee Roberts and Michael Hamilton collaborate on their craft. Using standard woodworking tools, they create wooden boxes and accessories. The couple, married 25 years, participates in six to eight shows a year. Michael is the webmaster for the National Association of Independent Artists. They live in Boise, Idaho, and have a 17-year-old son.

Since Dee and Michael are collaborators, they share their studio and all the equipment and tools. “A woodshop can be a noisy, dusty place,” says Michael. “We wear dust masks and ear protection while we work, so basically, we are self contained units working side-by-side.”

Mutual respect

Working couples need to respect each other’s creativity, working style and personal level of order. These things are as unique as their art. Each person needs the freedom to make creative decisions in their own way, even when they work in the same medium. “Allow your partner to explore and to fail,” says Gordon. “Failure is intensely personal, it’s how an artist grows.”

Each partner also needs to respect each other’s personal level of order. Let’s face it, sometimes the housework just can’t get done, or the tools don’t get put away properly. “We’re comfortable with each other’s level of messiness,” says Michael. Even if one partner is overly neat and the other is more relaxed about order, a middle ground can be found. “I’m the hurricane, and Dan is FEMA,” says Kerry about the Florida couple’s work style. “Dan is very neat, and my work space looks like a bomb was dropped on it.” But this works out fine for the couple as Kerry is a day person who likes to start working early in the morning, and Dan is a night person who prefers to work until 2 or 3 a.m. and doesn’t mind being the “clean up guy.”

Maintaining the friendship

Being friends can smooth the way for possible disagreements. “Lenny and I are good friends,” says Gordon. “We don’t compete with each other. It’s not about competition. It’s about doing the best work possible. If one gets into a show and the other doesn’t, we’re happy for them.”
“We are a limited edition,” says Michael. “The longer we work together, the more in tune we become. We seldom disagree. When we do, we discuss it until we’ve worked out a solution.”

“I’m very fortunate,” says Kerry, “I married my best friend.”

Taking and giving constructive criticism

Here is an area where couples need to tread carefully. Sometimes an artist gets too close to their work. Having someone nearby whose opinion they respect can be helpful. Artist-couples can take advantage of each other’s experience and trained artistic eye, but they need to learn to give criticism gently and carefully. “Most times,” says Mamie, “the artist has already solved the challenge in their work.” She believes that artist-couples should be diplomatic by giving their partner “suggestions” for consideration rather than telling them what they should or shouldn’t do. That way, if the suggestions are not accepted or acted on, neither person feels threatened. Michael agrees that working couples need to know when to back off and should not force their ideas on each other. Gordon recommends finding some area of the work that is interesting and point out the positives, rather than the negatives, as there is a much greater danger to the relationship in being negative.

Whose job is this?

Doing what each person does best seems to be a common theme for working couples. “Neither of us likes to cook or do dishes,” says Michael, “So if Dee cooks, I’ll do office work or work on the NAIA Web site.” The Rayburns divide their chores too. If one is doing housework, the other will do office work. Dan does the laundry for the Cleaver household. When Dan worked full time outside the home and Kerry ran her glass business alone, there was little time for housework. “He just got tired of seeing the laundry pile up,” says Kerry. So Dan took over that chore and continues to do it now. Their teenagers also help with housework.

Taking adequate time off

Having a certain degree of separateness can help a working couple keep an individual sense of self and provide a cooling-off period when things get tense. Being around each other day and night can certainly cause occasional periods of tension. “Dee has her garden,” says Michael. “When we need a little time away from each other, she works in the garden.” Mamie likes to read when she needs time to herself. “I don’t do painting,” says Gordon, “and Lenny doesn’t do black and white photography.” They attain a level of separateness through their other work interests. Since the Cleavers prefer different work hours, Kerry has her private time in the mornings and Dan has his in the late evenings.

Getting away from the studio can also help a couple maintain their relationship. The Cleavers, who spend most of their waking hours working in the studio, use lunchtime as a brief respite. “We don’t go out at night,” says Kerry, “but we do go out for lunch and we take care of our errands at the same time.” Michael and Dee sometimes take a few hours off to work outside. Dee works in the garden, and Michael makes things for the garden. This gives the couple some time away from their business to refocus their priorities.

Sharing equipment

When a couple shares equipment, whose work takes precedence? Mamie and Dale share a printing press. “Press time does not take up most of our work day,” says Mamie. “There’s always something else to do around the studio when one of us is using shared equipment.” Gordon and Lenny often decide a couple days in advance who gets “dibs” on shared equipment and manage to keep out of each other’s way.

Michael and Dee seem to work intuitively. “It’s amazing how we just know what each other is doing.”

Whether they collaborate or work on their art or business responsibilities separately, each of the four couples have found a way to blend their work and their lives together peacefully. “It takes two people to run our business smoothly,” says Kerry, “and we couldn’t do it without having a strong marriage.” Michael and Dee love their lifestyle so much that when the house next door to their home studio went up for sale, they bought it to avoid any potential complaints from new neighbors about shop noise. “I can’t imagine working any other way,” says Michael.